Wednesday, September 7, 2011

A BIG FAT potty training WHIMP


Unfortunately, that’s the category I fell under this past weekend!! OH.MY.WORD people! I have never seen the side of myself that I (regrettably) saw this past weekend!! If we had done this before adding to the family again, Harrison MIGHT have been an only child!

I kid. I kid.

I did not end up trying to potty train Harrison 4th of July weekend like I had mentioned a while back. I decided that 3 days would not be enough and that we wanted to enjoy that weekend. We just scooted it forward a bit. I figured Labor Day would be the longest weekend we’d have for a while and I will be home MUCH more now that I am part time. We decided to give it a go. 


Thursday and Friday were learning days and harder on the two of us than I ever imagined. I kept Harrison bare bottomed around the house and we went potty on a timer schedule. The thing that I did not anticipate in my mommy pre-planning brain, was the fact that Harrison is big enough, strong enough, and opinionated enough to resist sitting ON the potty. and folks, sitting ON the potty is kind of necessary to the this whole potty training line of thinking!

Saturday was pretty darn good and I thought we were starting to see the light. Sunday we weren’t home much and it was terrible at church and at a cookout, so terrible that I was positive that the success Saturday was a fluke and we were never going to get this potty training down, and we might as well quit, and he wasn’t ready, and I'm a failure and on and on and on!


I was majorly second guessing myself but then, my Facebook friends helped to steer me in the right direction. Of course, everyone has their opinion and then there are those who love to share how they potty trained in 1 day, and their child refused the diaper, did not require rewards, went straight to underwear,  and all that sweetness! FYI- if you have that experience….it’s best not to share that with a flustered potty training mom who ISN’T having that experience. I mean in any other situation I’d be thrilled for you, but in this situation…it’s salt in the fragile mothers wound! lol!!

The main reason for us giving this a shot now is…well, it’s now or later…very much later!! We don’t want to do it too close to the twins coming home as regression is very possible…even if there is some time in between that is still very likely. Also, once the twins are home…we’re gonna be kind of busy and there will be more distractions for Harrison.  So we’d thought we’d at least give it a shot…no harm, no foul!! Once I was in, though, I was really IN!!

I wish someone would have told me that it would make me lose my ever loving mind, but that I would get it back just as quick! A facebook friend said if they aren’t ready, we end up training ourselves rather than the children!!! lol! I could kind of see where that comment was starting to be applicable to me, but in the end, I had to look at the raw data to determine whether or not we should quit.


Harrison only had 2-3 accidents per day (maybe 4 the first day) and had MANY more successes than that. The potty chart is after nap the first day. To me, that means we’re headed in the right direction. For the last two days, he hasn’t had one peepee accident and he has stayed dry for naps, bedtime, and car rides!!

As far as #2 goes, we are certainly looking for pointers here. He just won’t sit long enough to make it happen. I am opposed to forcing him to do so. If I give him something to distract him,


well that distracts him altogether and he isn’t thinking one bit about taking care of business!!

So there you have it!! I felt much better when a friend of mine agreed that potty training was the worst thing we’ve had to face as parents yet (and her son is almost 10)!! and the thing about it is…I know better than to get so frustrated and doubt myself and all that stuff….I just had to bring myself back to center!! Thanks to many helpful friends and a lot of prayer, I was able to do so!! 


Tonya said...

I can relate on so many levels. First let me say that Janie still isn't fully trained. She can do it, but she often would rather keep playing or doing whatever is happening at the moment than to stop and go....

However, having said that. I will also say that I really did not like myself those first few days of potty training. I felt like a horrible failure and that I was going to create a serial killer child with how unhappy she was with all this potty stuff. Sounds extreme, but seriously, I doubted myself that much. I tried the "hard core" do it in 1-2 days approach and after the 3rd day just gave that was way to traumatic for Janie (and mom). Now we are kind of in a slow and steady wins the race kind of mode.

But I agree, I think potty training is the absolute worst part of parenting. I would even rather deal with major tantrums than those early days....and I have Lexie to look forward to later...hoping she just copies her big sister!

Leslie said...

For #2 a dear friend found a wonderful book that she read with her son. When I find the name of it again, I'll post it, but the basic idea was "In order to poo poo in the potty, some times you have to sit and wait, sit and wait," It goes on like that and has the child repeat the statement in order to help them remember. Just a thought!

Alison said...

Girl, I can so relate! Potty training my son was the hardest thing I have ever done! I literally shed tears during those months! It was awful! It took 6 months!!! I wish I had just waited until he was 3 1/2...he was just not ready at 3. My girls were a breeze to potty train though! Thankfully!!! :)

4taiwan said...

Seriously!! potty training felt like it put me in the top of the line for "Worst Mom of the Year"award for my attitude. I will say that with #3 I think it was....he would not poo ALL DAY and at night when we put diaper on for bed time.....he would poo-.- #2 I think had sensory issues.....My girl was the easisest (so who knows, Sophie might be easy!!). My oldest started when he saw another boy a bit older, Greer might be easy too:-)....Hang in is definetly not a weekend deal! (of course the stubborness could be the Paiwan genes!LOL!)

Stacey said...

April, I think you are stressing or in a hurry because "you are in a hurry" to get it done before the twins. It will happen soon and you will be so relieved :)) ( I'm dreading potty training too)

Liz said...

So glad you're taking it lightly & not fretting over it too much now. My mom made me a nervous wreck the first time around, telling me how all three of her children (myself included) were TOTALLY TRAINED by 2. I had no clue what I was doing, so we started w/ our oldest when she was 19 months old. She seemed to be 'ready' in some ways, so we decided it was 'time'. After ELEVEN very frustrating months that I regrettably spent spanking, screaming & fussing, I was about ready to give up when it all just "clicked" one day & she got it overnight. But then again, by then she was 2 1/2 and it must've just been 'time' for her to done. I HATED the whole experience...hated that I'd been pressured to start so early...hated that I'd been so mean & ugly & nasty about it to her. It was just awful all the way around.

With kids #2 & #3, we waited much longer, did it by their cues, stressed about it much less. It happened much more quickly with both of them and I didn't hate myself when it was all over.

Thank God our 1st kids (aka guinea pigs) are there for us to learn with so we can fine-tune with the rest of our kids. ha ha!

heidi said...

Oy! Soooooo been there done that! I tried for Jonathan last summer and it was a disaster. Then this winter, right before he turned 3, it worked. But it was definitely not instant. Took a few weeks, and even now we still have the occasional accident. I used rewards- tried a few different things- candy worked the best for us. Good luck!!!!!

Gigi said...

Son #1 was harder than #2. Son #1 took a couple weeks to train him to pee in the potty and he refused to poop in the potty. Would not sit on it. Just flat refused. I screamed, fussed and lost it completely but he still refused. Many months later he finally figured it out and has since told me he was scared to sit on it. He thought he would fall in. Son #2 wanted to potty in our RV. Sounded good to me so we "camped out" in our driveway for about a week and he was trained. All depends on the child for sure.